Conflict: It’s Not a Cage Fight, It’s a Team Sport

One of the most common questions I get in my workshops is, “How do I handle conflict?”—usually followed by a sigh, an eye roll, or a whispered, “I just avoid it.”

But here’s the truth: Conflict isn’t the problem. Avoiding it is.

When handled effectively, conflict isn’t a roadblock—it’s an opportunity for growth.

The trick? Shifting from a mindset of conflict avoidance to one of productive conflict resolution.

Handled well, conflict can—

  • Improve ideas

  • Expose risks in plans before they become disasters

  • Enhance trust through honest conversations

If your team has the right composition, each member will be fighting for something unique:

  • In the insurance industry, producers push to close deals quickly, while account managers worry about setting realistic client expectations.

  • In families, parents want their kids to get enough sleep, while kids believe staying up late is a fundamental right.

  • In the club industry, non-golfers think too many resources go to golf, while golfers… well, let’s just say they strongly disagree.

When team members butt heads, resist the urge to pull rank. Instead, mediate.

Here’s how:

  1. Stay neutral: Focus on the issue, not personalities.

  2. Facilitate dialogue: Start by meeting with each person separately to understand their perspective (research says this builds empathy). Then bring them together for a productive conversation.

  3. Collaborate on solutions: Work toward a resolution that benefits everyone.

Handled correctly, conflict strengthens teams, builds trust, and leads to better decisions, so embrace it!

How will you model this approach for your team?

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The Leadership Power of Gratitude

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How I Learned That Emotions Do Belong at Work (Just Not in the Way You Think)